Pray4JAke

June 19

Editor — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 02:59:25 +0000

It seems so long since I updated my journal. In fact, I "thought" that I had updated you a couple of days ago but I forgot to click "save."

We are home from the beach and we had a great time. It was a myriad of emotions which I expected, yet it also showed me that Jake is more independent that I thought. The motivation when you are around your friends to be able to "keep up" with them and not rely on them is powerful!

We were in Isle of Palms, SC which is a place that we often took the kids through the years. It is always a bit melancholy when you visit a place for the first time since Jake's stroke. I could not help but to reminisce about Jake being one of those little "wild boys" at the pool running and playing full force from sun up to sun down. I looked at the familiar scenario of the young parents with their children trying to carrying everything but the kitchen sink to get to the beach - and at times there was a look of frustration on their faces as if to say 'and you call this a vacation.' It did not seem that long ago that we were one of those families. Life was going along in a predictable fashion - in my naive way of thinking, I guess I thought that it would continue in that way. Predictable.....Automatic.....
But I now see things so differently ..... I guess that you could say that at age 51, I am growing up! It actually has nothing to do with my age.
Difficult times. The pressure of difficult times makes us value life. Every time our life is spared (or someone we love) and given back to us after a trial, it is like a new beginning. We better understand its value and therefore live our lives more effectively for God. The pressure we endure helps us to understand the trials of others thus equipping us to help them and to sympathize with them. There was such a shallowness about my life before - that for some distorted reason I would avoid a tragedy. Yet, through the many people that I have had the privilege to meet and have influenced my life during the past six months, I have learned a valuable lesson. If we will be patient and submissive to the Lord, we will be a greater blessing to others during our time of pain and suffering than we were when we were strong and fit. As my devotion said so beautifully, 'burning suggests suffering and we try to avoid pain - yet, an unlit candle does not shine, for burning comes before the light. And we can be of little use to others without a cost to ourselves.'

The beach was a relaxing time for me to hang out with a couple of good friends and eight teenagers! Jake did not miss a beat. His friends just seem to instinctively know when he needs a little help. And if he does, they help. Otherwise, Jake is on his own and they treat him just like they do anybody else! Jake was playing in the ocean and in the pool, walking on the beach, taking a Ghost tour of downtown Charleston, renting and watching movies at night, etc...... Jake was being a teenager hanging with his friends.

We leave for California in a couple of days to visit our family. It will be a great trip. I know that is may be initially difficult for our family as they have not seen Jake since this happened. But after a few minutes of being around Jake, they will see that in spite of some deficiencies, Jake is still the same Jake!

There is a young boy named Bayler that I would like for you to pray for. He is courageously and valiantly fighting cancer, yet his parents have received some less than favorable test results. There is a guestbook signing on my caring bridge dated June 14th asking for prayer that you can find out more about his needs.

Also, there is a 14 y/o girl named Alex from Anderson who is also battling and suffering from cancer at this time. My heart breaks for any parent who has to watch their child suffer with pain. Maybe if we all collectively pray for Alex and Bayler that there will be some comfort and peace for these children and their families. Thank you.

PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Pray for safe travels.
2. Pray for right hand function with Jake.
3. Pray for Jake to be able to talk more, read, and write.
4. Pray for Jake to walk heal to toe with no wobbles.

Remember we are shooting for the moon!

June 4

Editor — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:00:00 +0000

Busy day today because today is Graduation Day. Yay! This is not going to be a regular journal entry but I wanted to share with you a few things.

Most of you would never have access or reason to see this magazine but you can see it on line. There is an article on Jake and his rehab that is in this month's edition. The article and pictures were taken when Jake was in Atlanta. The best way to find it is to google: jake nicolopulos + advanced physical therapy That is the name of the magazine and he is the cover along with an article on the inside.

Graduation is at 6pm tonight so afterwards we are going to eat pizza at Emily's parent's house because it will be late to try and go out. Tomorrow night we will have a family dinner at my sister's house to celebrate graduation.

In spite of a busy and heavy recruiting schedule, Coach Scott called this week to congratulate Jake for graduating. Coach Swinney called yesterday morning and I wish that I had a recording on the words and the message that he gave to Jake. It applies to all of us. Jake listened to him so intently about continuing to work hard, NEVER giving up, following God's plan, God's purpose, and the testimony that Jake has and will have as a result of this event. My point in telling you this is that these are wonderful Godly men and even though Jake's contribution to Clemson football is somewhat altered, they continue to care for Jake, the person, not Jake, the football player. You can not measure the impact that this has on a person who is battling to regain lost abilities. Nor can you ever underestimate, the random people that will walk by Jake at the sandwich shop or the bakery and say to him, 'I am pulling for you Jake.' Jake says 'thank you' and looks at me with a look as if to say 'wow, people care and I don't even know them.' It means alot and even if you never run into Jake, there is someone that you know and will encounter who is battling "something" in their life. I have learned from this experience to step out of the box and look into someone's eyes and give them words of support and encouragement. In the past, I often tried to avoid the "awkwardness" or maybe this is not the right moment to say something, yet, it can often be just the boost someone needs. Jake has received much attention, love, concern, and support - oftentimes, that happens when you are a young person. But, I now think about others who are going through a difficult time, and may feel as if they are carrying their burden by themselves. Our words of kindness may be the only ones they hear that day. Just a thought....

PRAYER REQUETS:
1. Pray for more speech - mulitple words together.
2. Right hand and arm movement.
3. Walking without wobbles and heal to toe.

REMEMBER WE ARE SHOOTING FOR THE MOON ON GRADUATION DAY!!!

June 2

Editor — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 15:38:29 +0000

It is Wednesday morning, June 2nd, two days before graduation. We are approaching the six month mark of Jake's stroke. This is such a time of reflection and reminiscing, yet, I don't want to become immersed in the past. I have found that there is a delicate balance between being submerged in the past and embracing the wonderful memories that have brought me to where I am now.

This journal may have no rhyme or reason. There are so many thoughts that are spiraling through my mind. I woke up during the night and there were so many flashbacks. Then my mind would jump forward to the present ...... then what life would have been like if Jake had not had the stroke ....... and back to the day it all happened. I remember standing at the foot of Jake's bed in Neuro Intensive looking at him - even though he seemed so peaceful, I realize now that Jake was mustering every bit of strength that he had fighting for his life. And you won, Jake - you won the toughest and most important game of your life.

Jake, you have played in some "big" games in your life - some you won and some you lost. But, what I remember so much, Jake, was your will to win and to never give up. Even on the field, you did it in a quiet way. You made the play and straight back to the huddle - your dad always told you not to run your mouth - your play should do the talking for you.  And, off the field, you are just a big kid who is as simple and laid back as they come. It does not take much for you - friends, family, ESPN, your dog, a good meal - and Jake is happy.   Football was (is) a passion for you - very cool when you see your kid have a real passion for something. And, football is still in you. I see it in your eyes now when you pull up your highlight video and watch it. Is it look of sadness? Not from what I see. It seems like you are just looking back enjoying something that means a lot to you. I also see you critiquing your play as to how it could have been done better. What else do I see? I see a kid that still has a passion for football and if it is God's will and in His plan, Jake will still have a future with football, just in a different way. And, Jake, back to the part of about you never giving up - thank you for not giving up back on December 9th because you were truly in the fight of your life.

From My Devotion: We will not win the victory in prayer until we cease our struggling. We must give up our own will and throw our arms around our Father's neck in clinging faith. It is not applying pressure or insisting upon our own will that brings victory. It is won when humility and trust unite in saying, "Not my will but Yours be done." (Luke 22:42)     REMEMBER: We are strong with God only to the degree that self is conquered and is dead. Blessings come not by wrestling but clinging to Him in faith.

Re: Swelling that I mentioned last week. It is no worse which is good. There are no symptoms - as I said at this point it is a cosmetic issue. From what I understand, there is a lot that goes on when you have surgery and if I understand it correctly (?), there are a number of interruptions that can take place in your body due to surgery. And the lymph system is one of them - which may explain the swelling. We are looking into a therapist who works in this area.

PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. MORE SPEECH - MULTIPLE WORDS PUT TOGETHER AT ONE TIME
2. MORE USE OF THE RIGHT HAND AND ARM
3. WALKING WITH NO WOBBLES - HEAL TO TOE.

Thank you so much for continuing on this journey with us as we shoot for the moon!

May 20

Editor — Fri, 21 May 2010 02:24:37 +0000

The energizer bunny... it just keeps going and going and going...

It is Thursday morning and Jake is still asleep. He does not have therapy today but Craig and I will do in home therapy in physical, occupational and speech.

I had so much to say on the last journal that I was unable to complete it. I updated to last Friday night and I wanted to share with you a few events from the weekend as well as speech therapy.

Last Saturday, Jake and Emily went to the lake with her dad and she text a photo of Jake driving the boat. He just looked so comfortable and it gave him such a sense of being in control. That evening Craig and I joined them at the lake for dinner. I can't remember everything to share with you but we ALL noticed that Jake was being more verbal. We are standing on top of their boat dock and Jake really wanted to go swimming in the lake and we had not let him. He looked at me with determination and said "tomorrow night.....swimming." There are numerous examples similar to this one that it is just hard to recall because often I am not with him and others share it with me.

Sunday morning we had planned to go to church and I kept waiting on Jake to wake up. Well, he did not get up until 10:30 so Craig and I decided to have "church at home." I gathered several devotions from Charles Stanley and Craig, Gina, Jake, and I sat down to together. When I was looking at various devotions, I really was thinking about Gina more than any one. She had expressed to me feelings of being on a roller coaster - up and down, up and down. I asked her once again how long this had been going on and she repeated to me since Jake's stroke. However, she quickly added, in a protective mode and a bit defensively, "but it is not Jake's fault!" I certainly knew that and her response spoke volumes to me. I look back on December 9th and sometimes I regret that I was not more protective of her, yet, I was not prepared for any event that occurred that day. I believe the moment that the doctor called the three of us back to tell us the grim prognosis, well.... it was hard for all of us......but........maybe Gina's youth made it more difficult. I remember the first words that she said when we walked out of the room upon hearing those "dreaded words." She said, "Jake does not deserve this; he is too young; that should be me lying there, not him." Oh my, the words that come out of the mouths of babes.... Her thought that Jake was too young for this, but not her.... they are only two years apart. We were in Anderson from December 9th thru December 22nd and then moved to Atlanta. We left much behind when we left town, but the most important was Gina. Yes, she intially came to Atlanta with us but she then returned to Clemson for school. Craig and I had each other to lean on daily and we were actually with Jake on a daily basis. But in Gina's case, she was removed directly from the situation and trying to pretend that she was the normal college student when she felt anything but normal. I can not turn the clock back and it is not important where we were. What is important is where we are now. Thankfully, I have chipped away at the wall and Gina acknowledges her feelings - the roller coaster of emotions and at times, a bit of anxiety. Our devotions that God led to me last Sunday morning were entitled "Letting Go of Anxiety," "Weathering the Storms of Life," and "God's Purpose in the Storm." Gina seem to be embracing every word we read which did not surprise me. But what did surprise me was how Jake seem to be fixated on every word that was being said. His attention span has never been that great, even before the stroke. Afterwards, we said let's pray and it really was not our intention for Jake to lead the prayer, yet there was a pause...... and then out of the blue, Jake starts praying. Jake starts by saying, "thank you for this food and that we are together." Now everyone knows that is a memorized response from a blessing he said since childhood. But then he continues, "thank you for truth, (pause), and strength (pause), for mom, dad, Gina, Jake, Emily." (Gina and I peaked at each other and we are both wanting to giggle at the way he started out with the blessing and for naming himself). And then Jake just keeps on praying - sometimes, repeating the same names and there was a small amount of cueing on our part in helping him think of names. But mostly it was on his own. This prayer was like the Energizer bunny......it kept going and going and going. In the middle of the prayer, he said again "thank you for this food and that we are together" and he thanked God for "Jake" again and of course our dog, Reesey. Finally, Jake says "Amen." He then let out a big "Whew" - like he had just finished working out hard. That is what it is like for an injured brain - an exhausting work out - but, I think that Jake was enjoying hearing himself talk - hearing words come out of his mouth. For a moment we all sat in stunned silence and then we celebrated that very special moment that we were all together and had witnessed Jake accomplish so much. It was one of the most special moments that I have experienced. As special as it was to hear the words come out of Jake's mouth was, there was equal joy to see the happiness in Gina's face. I am watching both of my kids heal before my eyes - yes, the "injuries" are different, but they are injuries nonetheless.

The remainder of Sunday was terrific. Gina and I spent a lot of time together which was great. I know that everyone felt like Jake was understanding more and being more verbally expressive. Well, that "feeling" was professionally confirmed when Jake's speech therapist called me after Monday's session. She was so excited to tell me that Jake had made a "jump." Things that she had to repeat a week or two weeks ago four or five times, Jake was getting the first time. Also, he was finding words and being more expressive verbally. He did four multiplication problems and solved them all correctly. You know it is so amazing when you are talking to someone who has only known your child for a few weeks and you hear the excitement and thrill in her voice over your child's accomplishment. Wow - to have found someone so committed and so vested in your child, it certainly validates that Jake is working with the right person. I remember her telling me the first day we met with her that before a person can become verbally expressive that they need to comprehend. Also, healing sometimes can come in "jumps" - it may seem that you remain status quo for a time and then you see a "jump" and that is what we experience.

From My Devotion: "The pressure of difficult times makes us value life. Every time our life is spared and given back to us after a trial, it is like a new beginning. We better understand its value and thereby apply ourselves more effectively for God and for humankind. And the pressure we endure helps us to understand the trials of others, equipping us to help them and to sympathize with them. Trials and difficult times are needed to press usforward. They work in the way the fire in the hold of a mighty steamship provides energy that moves the pistons, turns the engine and propels the great vessel across the sea, even when facing the wind and the waves."

I know that I put a lot "out there" personally about what my immediate family is going through. But I only do this after prayer and "consulting" God. There is nothing to be ashamed of in going through an emotional roller coaster in life. For my family, we went through roller coasters before this stroke, but I just did not write about it. This is not a perfect world, far from it.... none of us have perfect lives, far from it.... and, for me personally, I believe that God is leading me to share the good and the bad with you - and there is plenty of both in the Nicolopulos household. But there is also a lot of faith, hope, and love, in our home and the greatest of these is love. Sound familiar? 1 Corinthians 13:13

PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Pray for our entire family to continue to emotionally heal from this event.
2. Pray that Jake will continue to be happy and not show any signs of bitterness.
3. Pray for GRIP AND RELEASE AND FUNCTION IN THE RIGHT ARM AND HAND.
4. Pray for walking heal to toe with no wobbles.

REMEMBER WE ARE SHOOTING FOR A FULL RECOVERY TOWARD THE MOON!

May 17

Editor — Tue, 18 May 2010 01:52:38 +0000

It is Monday morning and it has been a good weekend. Jake is doing well and so are we. Yet, I have to share with you the total picture, as I will later in the journal - the complete sum of emotions that we confront. Why do I feel this obligation for transparency? I am not sure except that I feel that is what God is leading me to do - no further questioning on my part.

The Anderson Area Touchdown Club had their year end banquet on Thursday at lunch. Jake and our family were invited as they presented Jake with a special award called "The Extra Mile Award." The plaque says "In recognition of your journey to overcome the adversity in your life and having the enthusiasm, courage, determination, perseverance and attitude to make your journey possible." and "Being dedicated is only a temporary condition, giving up is what makes it permanent." I love that last part about giving up - giving up is not a part of our vocabulary. It was very special time for Jake and for us.

As everyone knows when your child is graduating from high school it is an emotional time. I know that when you add the events of these past 5 months, that emotion is multiplied. On Thursday night, Hanna had awards night. All of the seniors marched into the school with the graduation processional. When we saw him marching into the school with his fellow classmates...well....it was a moment...a moment of thanksgiving...a moment of retrospect...a twinge of sadness...an overwhelming sense of gratefulness. Jake was awarded the Jim Cox Award for "your leadership, character, and attitude." Also, he received the Rhett Hendricks Memorial Award given to the senior who has overcome adversity to graduate on time. Both of these awards were special to our family. My sweet niece, Ria, presented the Rhett Hendricks award on behalf of Rhett's family. Ria was very close friends with Rhett who lost his courageous battle to cancer a number of years ago. How special it was to see my niece presenting the award to her cousin. I was so touched by the overwhelming response by the students and staff when Jake walked up to received his awards. What did I see? His fellow classmates happy to see one of their own stepping forward with a smile on his face, in spite of an overwhelming event, and moving forward with his life. Again, I thank the staff of TL Hanna and the students from the bottom of my heart for the support and love that you have shown Jake.

And now for Friday. I don't know what created the flood of emotions that made me feel as if I was caught up in a tidal wave. Well, maybe I do know. I have been cleaning out drawers finding old photos, going through the cards and notes that people have so lovingly sent Jake, reading a journal that Jake's friends wrote in while he was in intensive care, and on and on and on..... Here are some excerpts from the journal written by Jake's friends from the ICU waiting room: From W. B. : "you mean so much to everyone - we've been sitting here in the waiting room talking about our memories with you - you've made such a difference in my life and everyone else's." And B.C. wrote "Through the years I have known you, there hasn't been anything you couldn't handle. You are one of the hardest working people I know and I idolize you for that. After this setback, you will be able to go back to the world and conquer it. This entire incident has made everyone see the power of prayer and the power of Christ. God has a plan for all of us and through this setback, He has a plan for you and us all. I love you man and one day we will look back on this and realize how powerful God was." From B.B. : "You need to hurry up and get better. I love you and I am praying for you." From A.P. "You're liked by everyone in this community and are an inspiration to me as well as many others. I love you so much dog! Stay strong!" From B.T. "I know you are going to fight through this. God is watching over you and is going to take care of you." From D.W. "You are not just a good friend, you are a great friend, one that I can trust and keep it 100 percent. I love you and stay strong." From D.H.: "It's hard to know that I can't help you right now because you've always been a great friend to help me. Love you bro!"
I read and read and read - almost as if I was getting to know Jake through different eyes. I started looking at photos when we were at Disney World and Jake making a goofy looking face to the camera. It was an overwhelming moment where life seem to be clicking along and then BOOM!! Out of no where, Jake suffers a major stroke. I cried...no, I sobbed. Am I not past these type of emotions by now? No I am not. There is no timetable nor checklist where one checks off an emotion or response that will not surface again. Yes, God is in complete control of my life and this journey; however, I still have these moments where I just cry and struggle with the magnitude of it all. During the day on Friday, while I continuously had my moments, Jake is out with his friends and having dinner with Emily and her family enjoying life. I had worked myself up pretty good and then in an instance, I snapped out of it. How? Craig and I walked into the house to pick Jake up at Emily's and there is happy Jake sitting there watching Braves baseball and hanging out with Emily, Lyndsey, and
Jacob. What did I have to be sad about or why did I work myself into a "funk"? Look at my kid - alive, well, enjoying life. Maybe I need to take a lesson from my 18 y/o - Jake seemed happy, grateful, and content. Need I say more?

I have so much more to say but I have to leave and pick up Jake from therapy now. I did not even get to this weekend - there is so much that I want to share with you, especially in the area of speech (all good). But I will try and journal on Tuesday or at the latest on Wednesday.

PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Pray that I will be open and responsive and be able to see how God wants to use me. I have a desire and a need to reach out to others.
2. Pray for Jake's speech - reading, writing, speaking, and comprehension.
3. RIGHT ARM FUNCTION - GRIP AND RELEASE!
4. No wobbles - heal to toe.
5. Pray that God will continue to give Jake the peace, happiness, and contentment that he has.

April 30

Editor — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 20:07:20 +0000

It is Friday morning and Craig and Jake just left the house for therapy. He will go for 2 hours today and then I will pick him up. Afterwards, we will go the McCants track and I will have him do multiple sets of stairs and then laps around the track. We are trying to recapture some of the losses from the surgery and the downtime post op.

Our house still looks like a construction zone in parts as we are remodeling Jake's bathroom for it to be safe and accessbile for him. In the meantime, we go to my mother's house for him to shower as her bathroom is accessible. I know that my mom is looking down on Jake and is very happy that he is getting use of her bathroom! Obviously, I have spent time in my mom's house since we have returned to Anderson. Sometimes I find myself just wandering around mama's house looking in closets, drawers, her reminder notes written throughout the house, etc... I tried on the jacket that we bought at Chico's on one of our last shopping trips to Greenville together back early in the Fall. We looked at the jacket from every angle on her in the store that day to make sure that it was just right. I don't know if she ever even wore it but I know that when Fall comes around, I will wear that jacket with not only the memory of that day together, but remembering so many other times that we went on our many mother-daughter shopping trips.

I guess with Mother's Day coming up and just being back home, I have found myself thinking and grieving for both of my parents. I think that given the gravity of what has happened, sometimes I feel like I just need their wisdom, their encouraging words, their advice - just the embrace of their arms around me. Or their affirmation - 'everything is going to be okay' and 'you are strong Ann Louise, you can do this, you are handling this.' I don't have them any more on earth, yet, I am eternally grateful for what they gave me - my Christian foundation, their teachings, their discipline, their time, their love, and for giving me a back bone. Especially my dad in certain areas - I remember when I was young and I would over react to a typical adolescent situation, he would grab me by the shoulder and look deep into my eyes and say to me: "toughen up young lady - you have no idea what problems or tough times are and if this is how you react, you are going to have a difficult road ahead." Two of his favorite phrases to me: "toughen up" and "the glass is half full, not half empty." My parents never knew what they were preparing me for those many years ago - what have I learned from that? Well, I would love if Gina and Jake's life were spared any real tragedy. But there are no guarantees for any of us and that would be irresponsible on my part to ignore As a parent, we must remember that we don't know what event we may be preparing our children for as we give them opportunities for building their Christian foundation, back bone, the right way to react to a controvery or situation ..... Wow if I overreact to my child getting their feelings hurt, or disappointment of not making the team, etc... how have I modeled the right way to handle life when a "big event" enters or I should say invades you life? Thank you God for giving me parents who prepared me for life - though I have stumbled many times, especially this past four months, I "toughened up" and am trying to continue to move forward.

From my devotion: "When some basic need is lacking - time, energy, money - consider yourself blessed. Your very lack is an opportunity to latch onto Me in unashamed dependence. When you begin a day with inadequate resources, you must concentrate your efforts on the present moment. This is where you are meant to live - in the present; it is the place where I always await you. Awareness of your inadequacy is a blessing, training you to rely wholeheartedly on Me. Health and wealth can disappear instantly, as can life itself. Rejoice in your insufficiency, knowing that My Power is made perfect in weakness."
This devotion touched me on many levels - but the part about concentrating on the present moment was such a good reminder for me. There are times that I start thinking "down the road" and I get a bit anxious. Wait, let me restate that and I say what I really do - it is more than a bit anxious - I feel as if an elephant is pressing down on my chest and I break out in a sweat. Then somehow, like someone grasping for the light switch in a dark room, I reach out to Him, and He is there for me - in the present - telling me not to worry about tomorrow. and to cast all of my anxieties on Him. (1 Peter 5:7) Amen.

PRAYER REQUESTS: Simply stated:

1. Pray for more words, multiple words, reading, writing, improved cognitive abilities
2. Grip and RELEASE in right hand. Pray for functioning right hand and arm.
3. Pray for Jake to walk heal to toe with no wobbles.

Did you see the moon this week? Craig and I went outside and looked at the moon and prayed for healing in Jake's brain and for new pathways to be forming as we prayed.

Shooting for the Moon!

April 27

Editor — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 11:23:31 +0000

It is Tuesday evening and I think that Jake is attending a men's softball game. Jake's friends have been so good about working him back into life in Anderson. It is hard to believe they are 17 and 18 y/o boys but the attention and care they show him is amazing. If I tell them it is time for his medicine, they don't hesitate to get him home. They really are aware of his safety issues and look out after him. We are so appreciative of his buddies.

Jake had the staples removed from his head and abdomen today. The only time that it was really painful was when she was removing them from the area around the ear. That area is still tender as it is the place where they really had to work the skull into place. His scar looks really good and his hair is also growing.

I wish that you could all see the work that goes on in speech therapy. Brain injury is so complicated and every one is so different. Here is an example. Last week and on Monday, the therapist wrote 4 numbers on a piece of paper. She told Jake to point to each number as she said it. He did it 100 %. However, she then wrote 6 numbers on paper and he looked at it and just shook his head. In other words, too much - overload for his brain. However, one of the numbers was '23' and when she said "Michael Jordan's number", he was able to point it out immediately. It was difficult for him to perform the task when the six numbers had no meaning; yet he could do it when she said an association to Jordan. But, today when she wrote 6 numbers down he was able to point them all out correctly. That is progress, small, but progress.

From my devotion: "Welcome problems as perspective-lifters. If you encounter a problem with no immediate solution, your response to that situation will take you either up or down. You can lash out at the difficulty, resenting it and feeling sorry for yourself. This will take you down into a pit of self-pity. Alternatively, the problem can be a ladder, enabling you to climb up and see your life from My perspective. Viewed from above, the obstacle that frustrated you is only a light and momentary trouble. Once your perspective has been heightened, you can look away from the problem altogether. Turn toward Me, and see the Light of My Presence shining upon you." I love the part where it talks about your problem can take you either up or down. And Satan is delighted when we fall down and we sink into that black hole. Satan rejoices when we feel worry, anxiousness, fear, anger, doubt........ I sure can tell when Satan, "the creeper," is trying to take hold of me. Sometimes, I will shout "get away from me," "leave me alone," "I will not let you take hold of me." I have no problem with verbally ordering Satan away from me, any time or any place. It really helps me to be vocal about it - I don't know if it is because I am a very verbal person or what - but I just let him have it (instead of him having me)!!

PRAYER REQUESTS:

Speech: please pray that Jake will make great progress in this area - comprehension, speaking, reading, and writing. I know that it can be frustrating for him trying to communicate his wants and needs and not being able to.

Hand: please continue to pray that Jake will have grip and RELEASE. I just want to see him be able to have a functional right hand and arm.

Right Leg: Pray that Jake will get more strength so that he will be able to walk with no wobbles. Pray that Jake will be able to walk heal to toe.

Attitude: Pray that Jake will continue to have a positive and happy outlook on life.

Direction: Pray that God will use Jake and our family to do whatever He wants us to do. We are ready and willing.

Shooting for the moon!

April 25

Editor — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 11:32:13 +0000

It is Sunday and it has been a good but busy few days since I last posted. Jake is certainly out and about town - going out to eat, softball games, baseball games, and of course, THERAPY!

I had the opportunity to experience speech therapy with Jake. The inability for Jake to actually talk is evident and is very transparent. Yet, the ambiguity of his cognitive ability is puzzling to say the least. I would not even attempt to try and explain it to you - simply said - I am shocked by some of the very seemingly simple tasks that he is not able to do just as I am amazed at some of the more skilled abilities that he is able to perform. The only people who can truly understand it are those skilled professionals who work with patients with aphasia. And Jake's therapist certainly has the love, passion, experience, and great skill for a patient with aphasia. Do you know what a blessing that is for Jake to be able to work with someone of her qualifications? I love her philosophy of incorporating as many people who are involved in Jake's life to speech therapy (one at a time), so they will learn and see first hand the best way to communicate with him. Therefore, if we are all on the same page and doing the same thing, it will support his relearning to communicate and not sending mixed messages to Jake. I am in the process of lining up family and friends to attend one or more sessions with him. Jake also seems quite receptive to his physical and occupational therapy. I have learned that a lot of the therapy is about relationships - of course, the therapists needs the skill - yet, their ability to work personally with the patient is so important. Jake seems quite content to go and when I pick him up from the therapy, you can tell it has been a positive experience for him. Again, I am quite thankful for his therapists and it is wonderful that they are here in Anderson.

I had another one of those little moments yesterday. Since we got home I have been on a mission to clean out my house. Of course, when you are cleaning out, you just run across random items. I was home alone working quickly in Jake's closet and was stopped in my tracks when I found his "armband' from his last football game. It is the type that has a plastic covering on it where you put a small sheet of paper with the written plays for that game. I just sat there on the edge of his bed and thought back to that game in November - first round of the play offs in Hartsville, SC. I remember standing on the field after the loss and experiencing the emotions of our last high school football game. At the time, I was a little surprised at just how emotional Jake was after the game - I expected some but not to the extent that I saw. Afterall, Jake's football career was not ending - he was heading on to fulfill his lifelong dream - playing for Clemson. There was a real sadness in his face - understandable - he loves TL Hanna and the football program. Now, I wonder - in some way - subconciously or inherently - did Jake know that this would be his last time to suit up with the pads and helmet? I don't know - I do know that God does prepare us for events in our lives. I must say that, to this point, Jake has handled this event quite well. How has he done that? Has God been preparing Jake for this his entire life? Did Jake some way, some how know that this may be the end of his playing days? Well, again, I don't know the answer to that question. I must deal with what I know. That God has chosen a new direction for Jake's life. Can I say that I completely understand it? No I can't. But my faith tells me that my God is sovereign and that if I could "pull back the curtains to view the heavenly realms, I would understand much more." I have a very limited human perspective and I must entrust Jake's life into His care. Do I really think that I could do a better job than the One who is the Creator and Controller of the universe? Hmmmm....... I picked up the arm band and put it in my give away bag and continued with my cleaning. Jake has boxes of memorabilia from the wonderful 8 years that he played football. I am a grateful mom that I still have Jake and will continue to fill boxes for the many memories that he will make in the future.

Speech: There are new words but I want to talk to Emily and review with her since many are said around her.

PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Pray that Jake will get more function back in his right arm and hand. GRIP AND RELEASE.
2. Pray that Jake will walk heal to toe and not wobble.
3. Pray that Jake will read, write, and speak in sentences.

Thank you and remember we are shooting for the moon!

April 22

Editor — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 11:31:00 +0000

It seems like every day is so busy but I don't mind. We have had a semi busy appointment day but tomorrow is packed.

This morning I watched the Today Show and there was a segment on teen strokes. Sometime around the middle of April, an 18 year old senior high school student had a massive stroke sitting in class. She was taken off of life support about a week later and her organs were donated. I watched her story unfold and listened to her grieving parents comment that God had different plans for their daughter. I believe she was the reigning Miss Hawaii Teen USA and no cause was ever stated for her stroke. I know that the doctor at the end of the segment mentioned prescription drug reaction plus stress and worry were a combination that could create a stroke.  As we tearfully watched the television, my thoughts went to Jake. A drug reaction has been a possible cause for Jake's stroke and we did feel that he was under a certain amount of stress - not undue stress but a kid who was a bit immature and just had a hard time handling attention and certain social situations. Jake has never quite matched up - he looks like a man yet has the heart and personality of a kid. I must say that since the stroke, Jake has grown up tremendously and much of the "awkwardness," "uncomfortable in his skin," and "self consciousness" has dissipated. As repetitious as it may sound, Jake seems happy. But any one who knows him would agree that one of the best words to describe him is "simple." He has just always been easily satisfied and likes "simple." No big cities, no large crowds - except for sporting events, does not want attention - just hangin' and chillin' with friends and family is good enough for him. I am grateful that Jake is happy yet my heart mourns for the family in Hawaii who lost their beautiful daughter. Pray for this family, please.

I look back at this "storm" that we have gone through this past four months and it is looking less like a storm. It is like I have been through a metamorphosis - and there is no way that I could be where I am now without going through each stage that I have been through. Most of us go through storms in our lives, eventually. What I have learned is that you can not fast forward through any stage, unfortunately.   God uses each stage for a purpose - it is part of Him developing us to where we find ourselves trusting Him completely during the storm. Toward the end of our stay in Atlanta, I met a new friend. My only regret is that we did not have more time to spend with each other. She shared the many years of pain, suffering, and torment that she and her family went through when dealing with her son's addiction. The many sleepless nights as she wondered and prayed and begged God to deliver her son from this addiction. She lived in complete fear and was held captive by his addiction. Then one night when she said that she could not handle the fear and uncertainty any more, God spoke to her and said that her son was going to be okay - that he would become free of his addiction. From that moment on, she spoke God's promise, not the problem. It was another nine months until he finally accepted his addiction and sought help. Yet, over those nine months she lived by God's promise.   There is so much learning, growth, and development that you experience when in a trial. I say to you - please know that whatever stage you are in - you will not be there forever. Also, seek God now. Initially, when the stroke first happened I could not even pray. I remember sitting in the hospital saying to people - 'what kind of mother am I?' My son is fighting for his life and I can not even pray for him - there was nothing inside of me - just a shell of a person.  People would respond that the Holy Spirit knows your heart and others are praying for you when you are weak. But slowly and methodically, I just found myself completely leaning and surrendering to Him. What else do you do? How else do you get through a crisis? A friend wrote a comment to me and it was dead on. Instead of asking "why" - now I must ask "what." That is where I find myself now - 'what do you want me to do with this Lord?' I know that Jake needs me a great deal at this point but God knows that. I look forward to God using me however He chooses. I am putting myself out there - if you ever know any one that I can be of help to - just let me know.

Jake has been to a session of physical, occupational, and speech therapy. We are so pleased with his therapists and feel like it is an answer to prayer. His head is healing nicely and he will have staples out on Tuesday. There is still some swelling but it is getting better. Just so the swelling is gone by prom - May 8! I can't wait to put prom pictures up on the caring bridge site for you to see!

New words: ocean, beach, Hawaii, one more, hall way, early

PRAYER REQUESTS:
I am going to keep it simple today:

PRAY THAT JAKE WILL MAKE A FULL AND COMPLETE RECOVERY. REMEMBER WE ARE SHOOTING FOR THE MOON!

April 20

Editor — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 03:23:38 +0000

Hello everyone! This really is going to be a short journal tonight. Everything is very good - I am just ready to settle down for the day as tomorrow is a busy day.

Jake is doing so much better. His endurance has increased substantially since surgery 8 days ago. There is still some swelling but it is slowly getting better. He has been hanging out with his friends some, went to Hanna and visited on Monday, and attended class with Emily today at Anderson University.

We have made arrangements for Jake's therapy now. We are fortunate enough to live in an area that has many excellent rehab options in Anderson as well as Roger C. Peace in Greenville. It was necessary to look at the total picture and also think about Jake's mental well being having been away from home for four months. However, first priority was getting Jake the best therapy for physical, occupational, and speech. Jake will be staying in Anderson and we met with his team of therapists today and we were so excited about the group that he will be working with. Jake will start tomorrow and will be going a minimum of 3 times a week for physical and occupational therapy and a minimum of four times a week for speech. Additionally, they have told us in order to get the most out of therapy, it is so important to do an equal amount of home therapy. That should keep Jake very busy when you add the time that he will spend at Hanna. As I have said before, it is important that Jake have some type of closure to his high school career.

There are times throughout the day that I will get thrown off track or almost experience a sense of grief. It can be the most random or seemingly insignificant event that will stir an emotion or a remembrance ......... a song on the radio, driving by the elementary school Jake attended and seeing the car pool line, or even passing the school district activity bus that Jake rode on so many times to football games. When that little "pain" shoots through my heart, I find myself now saying 'thank you God for the promise that You have given me.' I think that I am now starting to speak the promise instead of speaking the problem. This is really a new concept for me but I believe for the most part it is working because I have noticed when I start to feel sad, it is like I shift automatically to having a heart of thanksgiving. It is just so weird and I have to admit, it is not the type of person that I have always been. But if you keep speaking God's word, literally, you really will start to live it. "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

New Words: call me; go ride around; apple juice; four total; change; weight, Meeting Place

PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Pray for Jake as he starts his new therapy. Pray that Jake will increase his speech, get right hand grip and release, and walk heal to toe with no wobbles.
2. Pray for Jake to have a full and complete recovery. If we don't ask, we will not receive.

Thank you and remember we are shooting for the moon!